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A mother revealed the relatable reason why her family doesn’t send out Christmas cards: it’s just too much work.
In a TikTok video, a mother named Abby Eckel opened up about the “mental load” involved in creating the perfect holiday card, from coordinating schedules to managing every tiny detail. For Eckel, the tradition only lasted a single year before she decided it wasn’t worth the effort.
“My husband asked me one year when we didn’t do Christmas cards,” Eckel shared in the clip, “and he has never asked me again since.”
Eckel recalled her husband’s initial suggestion during the early days of parenting. “We have done Christmas cards one year, and that was when our oldest was a baby,” she explained. “My husband was like, ‘Christmas cards. You should do Christmas cards?’”
At first, Eckel was on board with the idea. “I was like, ‘Yeah, I mean, it’s just cards, right?’” she said. But soon, the reality of the task set in, and she decided to turn the tables on him.
“I told him, ‘Sure, why don’t you handle the Christmas cards?’” Eckel continued. She then broke down the many steps involved: finding a photographer, scheduling a session that works for everyone, picking outfits and a location, paying for the shoot, reviewing the edits, selecting photos, designing the card, gathering mailing addresses, buying envelopes, addressing them, and finally, purchasing and applying stamps. Her husband responded with a shocked “Huh?”
“It’s not just Christmas cards, is it?” Eckel said, summing up the ordeal.
For Eckel, the tradition simply didn’t make sense. “The mental load behind Christmas cards has never seemed worth it to me,” she explained. “Anybody that I would send a Christmas card to, I see regularly. And if you don’t see me regularly, you wouldn’t be getting one anyway.”
In the comment section, many mothers expressed their frustrations, noting that they understood Eckel’s frustrations.
“They’re a waste of time and money,” one user wrote.
Another added: “I used to do beautiful Christmas cards every year. It was so much work. I just stopped one year. A few people asked about it, but that’s it. Turns out I didn’t need to be doing so much work.”
“And how cherished are they, really?” someone else noted. “Family sometimes sends us cards and I go ‘cool’ and throw them away.”
Others noted that their husbands often left the responsibility to them.
“Amazing how their opinions change once they are in charge of the task,” one person said, while someone else noted: “’We should do Christmas cards’ Aka YOU do them, I’ll put my name on it.”
The tradition of sending Christmas cards began in 1843 when Sir Henry Cole, a British civil servant, educator, and inventor, commissioned the first printed card. Designed by artist John Callcott Horsley, the card featured a festive family scene and the simple yet enduring message: “A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to You,” according to Smithsonian Magazine.
The initial run of 1,000 cards quickly gained popularity, sparking a trend that spread across Victorian society. By the late 19th century, improvements in printing technology made Christmas cards more affordable, cementing their place in holiday celebrations.
However, the custom has seen a sharp decline in recent years. The U.S. Postal Service reports that the number of holiday cards sent has dropped by more than 40 percent in the last decade. While the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020 temporarily revived the tradition as people sought meaningful ways to connect, the rise of digital communication and changing social habits continue to reduce its prevalence.
